Thursday, April 5, 2012

I don't want to be a BIG Girl any more!

I had a chance to chat with one of my closest girl friends this week.
She was relaying to me the trials of parenting a preschooler.  What I could offer her was a meager smile of support, but what she gave me was a Grow With God moment.

This week, my friend and her husband are helping their littlest angel take another big step into the land of Big Girl.  They've already conquered the toddler bed and the potty training.  And bottles were gone ages ago. Getting dressed and brushing teeth are getting easier every day. But this, this was the last strong hold.
This week the family said goodbye to the Binky, the Pacifier, the Nuk.
Mom and Dad knew that it was time. But it is hard. 
Tears have been shed by all.
In a moment of frustration and tears their little girl said "but mommy, I don't want to be a big girl any more!"


How many times have I cried out to my heavenly daddy "but I don't want to be a big girl!"
I must admit that there are still times when I long to reach for the Binky's of my know...those old "childish comforts" and stubborn ways.  When someone hurts my feelings, I want to call my best girl and have her agree with how greatly I've been wronged, not call out to my Father in search of comfort and strength to forgive.  When I don't get my way, I want to stomp my feet and take my toys and go home, not work toward unity intertwined with love.  When life changes without my prior approval want to row out to this little island I call "denial" and just close my eyes, soak in some rays and recall how things 'use to be'. My Binky's have many names, you might know them by titles like anger, envy, selfishness, laziness, unforgiveness, pride, and over indulgence.

I Corinthians 13:11 New Living Translation

When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things.

My childish ways were easier but then again sin often is.
Yep, sin. When you are a child you act like one, because you are a child.   People who are new to faith are still learning.  First we crawl and then we walk. I am not new.  Me and God have been doing life together for awhile now, so when I cling to my childish ways, well for me that's sin.  It's all that stuff that is less than what God wants.  All those choices I make my way with no regard for the character of my creator.  Don't even think about trying to make me feel better by making a pit stop at justification.  It's not venting - it's just gossip.  It's not always vision, sometimes it's pride. Sometimes it's just me being a baby because God decided to do things His way without consulting me at all.

For me, being a Big Girl means - watching my mouth, guarding my heart, being the boss of my thoughts.  It's engaging my mind before I act and praying things through not just a quick run down of my plan with God as things have already began. It's accepting that being a peacemaker isn't easy or fun.  Learning to speak with purpose and be silent on purpose can be tricky. Navigating the complexity of truth with grace takes work and a lot of prayer. And I mess it up. But God is patient and loving and forgiving...and I am thankful that His mercies are new every morning.


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